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2月6日 最近其实过得很不好. 但是我却不知道该如何的去办.是啊. 喜欢的 不喜欢自己.学习也是一塌糊涂.听着那些人对着自己的所谓的过去的成绩的赞扬,心里却只能苦笑.今天又莫名其妙的和母亲吵了一架.可能最近烦了.脾气也就大了点吧.今天quiz考的也是一塌糊涂.让我不知道该怎么办才好.
我只是一个普通的人.我不习惯着那些期望.我害怕着.害怕着某天他们所加负在我身上的期望达不到.忽然想起4年前,那个不记得什么天气的下午,去上课的时候,他说"其实我也不知道以后要干什么,最好就是在家坐着.啥事也不干" 我当时是笑着,有点不可理解的感觉.如今想想.也许自己真的如此吧.那个时候的我还不能理解他的话,可是到了如今,我却理解了.
有些时候.就好像闭着眼睛站在悬崖的边缘.不知道是该往前还是不往前.因为你根本不知道悬崖在什么方向.是你的前面,还是你的后面.虽然,也许能感觉到微风抚过脸颊.你不知道,下一步是不是自己的崩溃,还是自己的成功.
我期待的生活是平淡的,没有任何的风浪的.可是.这是一种不可能的事.扭头看看墙角的兰草.长得是如此的茂密.
人不能后退,也不可能去后悔.我知道,我也了解.我不可能回到以前.虽然我是很想挽回一些东西.可是 我知道,那是不可能的.就像是天边的彩虹,只有那么一段时间在那儿微笑.而后,消失.再想找回的时候. 已经不见.
剩下的时间,好像不多. 我却失去了前进的勇气. 明天, 后天, 该如何的去过. 我不知道. 真的不知道. 不知道.不知道.不知道. 不知道. 好想哭,却哭不出来. 9月19日 Do WHAT I LIKE,DO what I like. This will be better.
I will try to forget. And I know I could do. He is not MY MR RIGHT. And I am not his Miss Right. That is all the story. Love someone do not mean to own someone. Seek he/she happy, and I will be happy. Hind my heart behind the smiling. I know I could do and I must do. I do not want to lose friendship after all.
This term, I have a lot of course. every courses have lab except math. I thought this term will be busy than any term.
5月7日 crazyI get a good mark on the exam.. But I am not that happy. the average of my whole second year is 11/12. It is a good mark as I expected.. But I feel sadness. I got what I want, and I lost what I want at the same time. I don't know Why I still can stand there, and smile to him. I don't know why I still can stand there and talk to him as he only is one of my friend, no more difference. But, I know, I know, I know WHAT I WANT.BUT I CAN'T SAY. I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYONE. I DON'T WANT TO HURT MYSELF. I think i am getting to crazy.. I drunk two beers today. It is ok for me, I remeber last time when I was in wuhao's birthday party. I drunk three bottles of beers. But, the more beers I drunk, the more sadness I felt. I want to be happy, I seek happiness. And I lost it in recently two months, maybe three months. Because I knew I lost it just on the day before the math exam. So I didn't know when this began.
4月9日 examreally ..do not know... 2ei5.. god..i am sure i can pass it right now. but the mark will be worse.. I didn't mean I did not done it well. actually, I think I already try my best. But. I am not sure for some questions. anyway. it is the time to review other exam. 2CJ...and.. ..i hope i can get up at 9am tomorrow...And there is a review section on Monday. |
. I know why..But I won't say..
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